AMNESIA - A LETTER TO BELOVED ONE

I have lost my memory. I do not remember my parents, my friends. I still want to see you. I want to love you again.

  I accept that you are my best friend, and I spent a lot of happy time with you, but still it is difficult for me to feel that love I had for you. I have forgotten. You seem to me like a stranger. How can I love you? I listen to the stories about you. I enjoy them. But still I cannot remember anything! I repeat your name.

Am I making it to complicated? Why can’t I just accept you? Live with you and wait until one day I can remember? I try. But I feel that my relationship with you is dry, I do not feel anything. I like you, I am sure you are very special and very beautiful person, but still I cannot love you. I cannot force my heart to love! I try. Everyday I wake up in the morning and pretend that I remember. I great you, I repeat your name, as if trying to remember the feelings I had when I used to pronounce your name, before I got ill. I hope one day this make-believe game will work and I can remember. But I am desperate to love you! And I cannot feel anything. I like you. I like your stories. That is as far as I can get. I know I cannot leave you. I am afraid that I never get cured. I should be more careful with taking the medication. I am reading the prescription on and on again. Maybe I am doing something wrong? It has been years now since the accident, and since I found you, and started taking the medicine. But still nothing. I am sorry.